You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
