Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
