So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
