is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
