i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Bring me that man meat
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
