You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
