Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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