dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
