Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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