I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
