you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
