dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
