never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
