Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize