i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
