It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
