hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Sober January is a disaster.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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