She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize