Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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