and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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