He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if only i could text you this smell
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
