I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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