She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
