Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
