Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
