Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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