her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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