2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
