therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
