You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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