I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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