she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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