actually, I'm a sock model
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
