His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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