How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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