My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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