I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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