my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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