it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
