Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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