she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize