We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
