Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
