one might say we're banned from that church
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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