That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
