went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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