Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
