I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
