You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How does one acquire holy water?
Holy shit dude........stairs
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
