at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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