Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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