i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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