Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
