..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
