i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
