I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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