I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize