did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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