I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
