it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize