Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize