If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
