the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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