Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
