He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
