What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
