i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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