i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
