guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
